Before I Forget, More China Moments

Some China moments that aren't long enough to put into story form, so I'm writing them down now:

A conversation which took place yesterday:
Me: So how do you think the US was able to win a gold medal in the Olympics this year but not in 2004?
Mick (28 year-old male): I think this is because the United States used many black players that were very good athletes. For instance, the black man is very powerful and can jump very high, but the yellow man is naturally not as fast.
Me: You know what, I think I agree with you.

During my first week here at a restaurant:
Waitress: Hello, where would you like to sit?
Me (not fully understanding what she said): I ordered dumplings. (Points at receipt)
Waitress (in a voice used for slow five year-olds): I KNOW you ordered dumplings, I asked you "where would you like to sit."

In a class for low-level kids
Me: Is Maggie here? (The boy who took the English name "Maggie" raises his hand)
Me: You know Maggie is a girl's name don't you?
(Class laughs at his expense)
Me: From now on, your English name is Markus. (And yes, I wrote it down on the attendance form spelled with a K, though this is subject to change.)

While I was lost downtown, looking for a park
Me (to an elderly security guard): Excuse me, where is the nearest park?
Guard: The nearest what?
Me: PARK.
Guard (looks at me with a benevolent grandfather stare): Ahhh yes, the park. I know that place well.
(Chuckles in that "oh, you rambunctious young people" sort of way)
Guard: Yes, yes, if you go north from here and take several turns, the nearest park should be in that vicinity.

It actually turned out that the park was the next street up and I was about to come across it anyway. This just shows you that old people are always looking for someone to talk to about anything.